2003-05-29 - 9:14 a.m.

Hm. In the last three or four days, I've read four or five diary entries (by various authors) that have had the cumulative effect of making me more introspective than I have time for this week. I know (in most cases) that it's not "all about me", but one can't help feeling more than a twinge of conscience when one reads rants against sins that beset one.

For instance, while I don't think I was the Sucky Mean Person of her diary entry, I was an outspoken critic of the luau idea (sorry MENG!) I can't fault the enthusiasm and energy put into it, but I disagreed with both method and cause. CPM tried to convince me why it was a good idea, and only sorta succeeded, but BlueDuke managed to convey some combination of support and lets-not-do-it-again that make me feel like a heel for disagreeing with it (or at least not finding a more graceful way to express my disagreement).

Maybe a month of rain isn't helping. Maybe it's the huge amounts of stress. Maybe the fact that my husband is sick at a very inconvenient time is adding to the introspection mode.

I'm probably a match for AoD on the Ruminant front (interestingly, cows are also ruminants - how's that for a useless piece of linguistic trivia?) although she'd look better in the black sash and Little Black Raincloud.

But sometimes I just want to crawl into my shell and pull the door in behind me, so as to avoid offending/hurting/insulting/whatever someone, since we seem (as a group) to be open to that sort of thing (and I'm enough of a bull in that particular china shop to be aware of delicacy without being able to avoid smashing it).

I guess it's a good thing I'm leaving the country for a while....

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